Once upon a time in a forsaken desert land there lived four ugly stepsisters. Well, they weren’t really stepsisters, it wasn’t really a forsake desert land, and there actually were only two, unless by chance, there was a mirror in front of them. These girls had been raised and taught many important life-lessons by their parents and had finished their formal educations and moved on to bigger, better, and more important things–or so they thought. One night they were reflecting over the things they had learned, observed, heard, seen, experienced, you get the point… They came up with a list of confessions which read as follows:
- They had an undying love for fruit roll-ups
- They had a fascination for squishy dinosaur toys
- Those who believe bluegrass to be in the same category as country music should be exiled
- Legos weren’t for kids, but in fact, grown young women
- Shoes were part of the curse
- Country music and R-rated movies ought to be approached with much discretion if not total abstinence
- Milk is in the same category as baby food
- Driving is a privilege that should only be extended to the well-behaved, proper, and mature folk
- People with Memory Deficiency should be required to wear Medic bracelets
- Beef is a necessity to life ranking second only to Water and Air Conditioning
- Being a nanny requires 11 arms, 2.7 heads, 4 legs, 16 eyes, and 72 fingers
- Those who don’t read books dwell in darkness and despair
- Ironing is a form of torture
- Extreme cases of hiccups are only a way of demanding attention
- People who are the most outspoken in calling for peace, are often the least tolerable
- Legalist people always suspect others of being more legalistic
- When a society forsakes the truths found in Genesis 1:1, they have no reason to believe anything is true.
- A society that imprisons women who kill their child(ren), yet leaves others walking free who have murdered their child(ren) before 38 weeks of gestational life, is one that holds to a double standard.
- There is something wrong with cultures mourning the “premature” death of pop stars and glossing over the sacrificial deaths of military personnel fighting for our lives
- The right ditch is just as deep and far from the road as the left ditch is
This list of confessions is by far, incomplete, but it is what the girls came up with for now. In the future, another list may be compiled and published, so check back! Please leave your thoughts, comments, and additions if you desire :).
May the Lord be with you!
(By: E. J. Busshaus with E. J. Busshaus